


internal

by eating_custardinbed



Series: The Internet Made Me Write It [22]
Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Canon Compliant, I think we all know this would be happening, Internal Monologue, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Shippy, Short, Short One Shot, episode dialogue, italics are mine, kind of, request, s3ep6 "calendar geeks"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_custardinbed/pseuds/eating_custardinbed
Summary: what was going through roy's head during that photoshoot...?
Relationships: Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman
Series: The Internet Made Me Write It [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990789
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	internal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous/gifts).



> thankyou to the wonderful anon on tumblr who requested this!! i have to say that it really made me think... in a good way!!! i hope you enjoy this!!!

"OK, great, Roy," Jen says. Roy nods. "Remember, it's gotta be sexy. Sexy, sexy, sexy."

_Sexy. Okay. Play it cool, play it cool... Try not to give away what you're thinking._

"Yep," he says. Jen nods before turning and leaving. Roy takes a deep breath, turning back to look at the group of nerds. "Okay, so... if the rest of you want to take lunch... I'll do Moss first."

_Shit._

***

_Okay, so it's fine. This is fine! He's only got a lab coat on. No tie, which is weird, but we can pretend it's there._

"So I'll hold up the beaker like, 'Ah! I've discovered something.'"

_God he's so cute when he talks like that. He doesn't even realise it. Somehow that makes it even better._

"Exactly. Yes."

"But what have I discovered?"

_Shit, I haven't thought this far._

"It doesn't matter."

"I think it does a bit, actually."

_Ugh, I love you so much but you're damn stubborn when you want to be. Oh God, look at him. He's so clever and adorable and I just... I can't._

"Um, OK, you have discovered... nuclear bombs."

_Does that make sense? I don't know, I didn't pay attention in physics, did I?_

"In a beaker?"

 _Ah. Clearly it doesn't._  
  
"You're right. It's surprising. So give me 'surprised'." _Oh my God he's doing it._ "Yeah! That's it. And it's confusing." _I've never seen Moss look confused about anything science-y before. He normally looks confused about people. It's different, somehow._ "Yes. You're 'confused'." _Oh my, he's still doing it. He's so cute._ "And you are afraid of the consequences... Give me fear! Fear!" _Fuck me, I didn't think he could get any cuter and then he just goes and does that._ "Yeah. That's good. That's good. Okay, nice, nice." _Stop talking!_ "And... if... if you're hot or anything, Moss, maybe you could undo some buttons on your shirt." _Bitch, I told you to stop talking._  
  
"No, I'm all right, thanks, Roy."

 _There, see, he doesn't want to!_  
  
"Maybe just undo your top button."

 _Okay, now I'm taking the piss. I need to stop letting curiosity get the better of me!_  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's hot. It's a hot lab. Because of all the..." _Fuck fuck fuck, I'm in too deep to back out now, think, quickly!_ "Fusion."  
  
"Fission!"

"Fission. Yeah." _Of course I got it wrong. Standard. God he's so clever._ "That's it." "Maybe just one more button." _Seriously now, I need to-- oh my God he's doing it. Oh my God. If he'll do that..._ "OK. That's good. And maybe you could, er... maybe you could get down on all fours."

 _I think I've actually gone insane here._  
  
"Why?"

"Because you had some microscopic nuclear things and you dropped them."

 _That is literally the worst excuse I've ever come up with, and I once told my mum that my sister's pet goat was the one who broke dad's power tool._  
  
"Oh, did I? Oh..."

_Is he... no, surely not._

"Big klutz!"

 _Oh my God, he_ is. _This is quite possibly either the best or worst day of my life._  
  
"Oh, nightmare! Oh..."

"They're down there somewhere."

_I really need to stop talking before I say something stupid. Shit, take some pictures too. Remember why you're actually here. Kimberly. Think about her._

"It's a pain. Oh, where are they?"

"Yeah... And you're getting angry."

_Task failed. I literally can't stop thinking about him. I'm just take this to extremes and I can't stop myself._

"Well, I would. It's frustrating."

_Does he know how adorable he is when he talks like that?_

"Because you can't find them."

"Arhhh..."

_I'm going to melt. I'm actually gonna melt._

"Arrhh! Grrr!" "You know how you growl if you can't find stuff."

 _Why do I know that?_  
  
"Grrr!"

"That's it."

_If they find me dead tomorrow, tell them these pictures are why._

"And there are other people in the lab and they're being so noisy."

 _What are you doing!? Stop doing this to yourself you twat!_  
  
"Okay. Shh!"

_Why does he keep doing it? He's so so adorable, and I love it. I love it. I love him._

"That's it."

_Shit. Did I just say I loved him._

"Shh!"

_I did. I do. Oh my God. Fuck._

"Bit less of..."

_Tell that to yourself!_

"Yes."

"And... and then it occurs to you..." "That maybe you put your microscopic nuclear things in your back pocket."

 _Oh my God I need to shut the fuck up right now._  
  
"Oh, did I? Oh... That's a pain. Why would they be there? And yet I've put them there."

_Moss, stop talking stop talking stop talking. I'm about to kiss that stupid smile right off your face._

"Yeah."

_That's right. Don't say much. Take the pictures, get this over with as quickly as possible._

"It's strange. Yeah..."

"You're working hard. You're tired."

_I'm going to scream. I have no self-control._

"Well, I've been busy."

_My God. I never thought I'd hear him say that and now I want him to say it all the time."_

"Oh, they're being noisy again. Shush them."

_Maybe just a little more won't hurt...?_

"Shh! Shh! Shh!"

"That's good, Moss. Yeah..."

_I'm enjoying this far too much. It's creepy. Is it? He's doing it willingly. I think._

"Shh!"

_Fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou so much for reading!! please leave comments and/or kudos if you can, they make me so happy!! check out my tumblr @thatludicrousdisplay if you want to request a fic!!
> 
> stay safe and happy, y’all xx


End file.
